Where does it leave me

When I’ve worked on myself

And I continue to work on myself

But I still want a relationship

I’ve learned to love myself

I do the work to heal and grow

I love my life

I enjoy the relationships I do have

I’ve found hobbies

I love my job

And yet the desire is still there

The hope to one day fall in love

I don’t disagree with the sentiments

that our focus shouldn’t just be on finding love

That we need to work on loving ourselves and where we are at

We need to fall in love with each new version we are becoming

And finding purpose outside of a relationship

But it’s not as black and white as people make it seem

The prize to healing

And self love

Is not a relationship

It’s not something you need to do in order to find love

Or to lose the desire of partnership

I can learn and grow

And still want more

I can love where I’m at

And still have hope that one day a partnership will make my life even better

I’m tired of feeling like I haven’t done enough to earn the love of a partner

Because that’s the flip side to that advice

Maybe you wouldn’t be in so much pain

if you’d do all these other things instead

And maybe that works for some

But that’s not how you work through grief

That’s not how you process feelings

To truly be there for someone

Through the struggle of singleness

Is to recognize that for some of us

It is a struggle

To understand and validate that while I love my life I still want more

That I’m always working on my self love and healing

And it doesn’t mean the desire will ever go away

That this may hurt and cause pain for the rest of my life

And it doesn’t mean something is wrong with me

That I haven’t fully healed

That there are more steps to complete

That I’ve failed in some way

Sometimes it just doesn’t happen

And sometimes it just takes a long time to get here

Both can be true

Work on yourself for yourself

And along the way you might fall in love

It may not be like you hoped

Or it might not happen at all

But regardless the love you desire

Does not need to be earned

No matter what anyone else says