Today is my 30th birthday! A lot of mixed emotions come with that, but mostly I’m just excited. I’ve been anticipating this day for awhile and while most people are afraid or apprehensive to turn 30, I’ve just been looking forward to it. It’s a decade that I think is just going to be fun and full of adventure. I almost see my 30s as I think most people see their 20s. I’ve done a lot of reflecting of my 20s over the last year. I even wrote my 30 year old self a letter a year ago on my birthday. And oh did I need to hear the words from my past self. I won’t share the whole letter, but I did want to share a portion of it because I thought it was prevalent and encompassed my feelings for this birthday and this last year in my 20s.

“So what do I say to my 30 year old self after saying goodbye to my 20s? Where would I like to be in one year? That’s a difficult question to answer, but honestly the first thing that came to mind, was right here. In one year, I hope I’m reading this on my couch in my apartment in Baltimore and laughing at all of its chaos. I hope that I’m more excited than sad to turn 30. I hope that I am still reeling from my trip to Europe. I hope I’m happy and excited and joyful. All of my hopes and dreams in this very moment are very simplistic and general. But I think that encompasses where I am in my life right now and I re-figure things out. As hard as it is sometimes, I love my life. I love where I live. And I owe it all to God because he led me here. He made this happen. And I could not be more grateful for all of it. So maybe that’s why I don’t have much to say. Because I see how he brought me through my 20s. I can see how painful yet transformative they were. And so I just want to be ready for whatever is to come in my 30s and beyond. More adventure, more love, more authenticity, more connection.

So here is to my last year of my 20s. Let it be filled with so much more than I could even hope or dream. Let it be full of self discovery and connection and love. Let it be filled with mess and brokenness and pain and failure because it is unavoidable. And let it be followed by lessons and love and growth afterwards. I hope this last year was incredible. I hope it is more than I ever imagined. And if it wasn’t I hope it was what I needed. I am so excited for you and this next decade. I can’t wait to see what we do. Know that I love you and I am excited to celebrate my 20s for the entirety of the next year.”

When I turned 29, I also decided to come up with a list of 30 things I wanted to accomplish before I turned 30, because why not? I did this mostly for the fun of it; not to create any pressure on myself or because I thought these were things I ‘should’ accomplish before turning 30. I was ok with the fact that not everything on the list might get completed in a year. I mostly created the list with things in mind I had been wanting to do or goals I had in mind for myself that could be fun to try and do over the next year.

I think this is the best way to set out doing a list like this because it takes away any pressure and any ‘shoulds’ going into your 30s. Do this for fun, rather than out of the feeling of necessity. That being said, I did have some more ‘adult’ tasks on this list that I had been wanting to do for awhile and decided to try and do them this year. And some of them may sound silly, but that’s the whole point. So you will see a mix of fun and maybe not so fun items. Regardless, it’s been a fun journey seeing some of these items get checked off without me even realizing it at the time.

Completed:

1. Revisit Cheltenham, England
   • What an incredibly cool experience this was! Read more about it on my blog post, Dreaming of Every Possible Life.
2. Sister trip take 2 to celebrate turning 30
   • It was so fun exploring a city my ancestors used to live in and experience a new culture! The architecture, art, and music were all incredible! My anxiety decided to take the trip with me, however, it still taught me a lot along the way. Read more about that journey on my blog post, Travel: The Best Teacher.
3. Learn to regularly cook healthy meals that taste good
   • I’ve been working on my health this last year, which includes eating better. Not only for my overall health, but also to help with my PCOS. While this is always a work in progress, I have also found some really great, and not super complicated, recipes that are good for my body.
4. Open a high yield savings account
   • Finally opened one of these and started depositing money!
5. Do one activity solo and one activity with someone every month
   • I didn’t track this, so I can’t say I fully completed this task. But I can say that I did many solo and not solo activities this year that I’m really proud of and enjoyed.
6. Hike around Baltimore/MD
   • Didn’t do this one too often, but I did take at least one excursion to hike in Maryland.
7. Get my ‘full-sleeve’ tattoo
   • While it’s not technically a full sleeve, I did finally get my largest tattoo to cover blank spaces on my left arm. It is beautiful and I am so excited to continue adding to my tattoo sleeve! I even added one a few weeks ago when I was in England!
8. Host something in my apartment
   • You might be wondering how this hasn’t happened yet. Well, when I got my first apartment and first job out of college, my work consumed most of my life and any time I did things with friends we usually went out or I went over to their place. And then the pandemic hit, so I wasn’t really inclined to have a lot of people over at the second apartment I lived in. Now, in my apartment in Baltimore, I’ve wanted to host friends, but I was also worried about being judged and also wanting people to have fun. I also don’t have a ton of space, so even though I wanted to have my 29th birthday party at my apartment, I knew not everyone would fit. However, with the help of a very dear friend, I finally set the plans in motion and had friends and their partners over. Everyone brought their favorite Baltimore or local takeout to share and we had a great night filled with friends, laughter, food, drinks, and games. And I loved showing off the place I have loved living in for the last two and half years. I didn’t feel judged and I surprised myself by allowing the night to flow as much as possible and didn’t worry about people having a great time because it seemed like they were. I did overthink after everyone left, but I am working on leaning and relying on facts over feelings on this one. I am so glad I did this and I can’t wait to do it again!
9. Read a classics book
   • I’m counting this one as completed. I read an Agatha Christie novel, Murder on the Orient Express. When I wrote this goal, I more so had in mind books like Little Women or Pride and Prejudice, both of which I did try to read in the last month and just wasn’t in the mindset to read it. However, I would say Agatha Christie books are classics, so I’m happy to include it as the book I read for this goal. It was a very fun read and right up my alley with murder mystery genres.
10. Invest in decorating my apartment
    • I count this one as completed! I finally found a table and chairs to add to my apartment so I can stop eating meals on my couch all the time. I even sanded and painted them to make them look even nicer. Could not be happier with how they turned out and it was so fun doing my first home improvement project!
    • I also had both my grandfathers make and stain an end table for me. They are both very handy and always looking for projects to work on. I am so grateful for the both of them and very excited that I will have something in my home from them for many years.
11. Learn how to regulate my period naturally
    • This might sound a little strange coming from a woman in her late 20s/early 30s. However, I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom (PCOS), which to oversimplify causes irregular hormones and periods. I was on birth control from about the time I was 13 until I was 27, which is when I decided to go off of birth control and see if I could naturally regulate my own period/hormones without the help of birth control. It’s been a long journey and one that isn’t over yet, but my period is also the most regular it has ever been. There’s too much to share about this item in particular for this post, but maybe I’ll write about it some day.
12. Make at least one new friend that lives in Baltimore
    • I think I’ve done this! I’ve tried to be as active as I can with my book club and while I’m not super close with everyone that goes to our monthly meetings and outside gatherings, I do know many more people that live here now.
13. Get another travel rewards credit card
    • This is one of those ‘adult’ items. However, I wanted to gain more travel rewards given some of the trips I had coming up. It was completely worth it and even helped me save some money on the trips I took.
14. 100 days sober
    • This was an interesting one I set out for, but one I’m glad I successfully completed. I think I actually lasted 103 days, but who’s counting? This taught me discipline, determination, and how to say no. Read more about it in my blog post, I can do [75] hard things.
15. Learn or re-learn a new skill/activity/hobby
    • This year, I picked up playing the piano again and ‘kind of’ got into working out. I learned a little bit of kick-boxing, pilates, and yoga, as well. I also started this blog, so I think that counts for this one, too.
16. Post 5 poems
    • When I added this one, I thought this would be really hard. Looking back, this one became really easy once I started posting on my blog and IG account more frequently. Some are harder to post than others, but I have well surpassed five poems that I have put out into the world this year. I also shared three poems live at my first Open Mic Night and continue to go back when I can!
17. Complete 75 Hard
    • Another one I didn’t realize I wanted to set out for or one I thought I could actually complete, but am so glad I did. This experience taught me so much and jump started my health journey. Read more about it in my blog post, I can do [75] hard things.
18. Go to therapy consistently
    • When I turned 29, I was still not sold on going to therapy often. I just didn’t feel like it was doing anything. I’m happy to say that since then that has changed and I go consistently and am happy to have someone hold me accountable and process the things I’m going through.
    • When my depression worsened, I realized how much therapy over the years has truly helped me and helped to shift my thinking. It also showed me at the right time that I need to stick with therapy more consistently going forward.
19. Try new restaurants/cafe’s in Baltimore
    • What I should have done with this one is keep track of the new places I visited. I did not, though. So, you’ll just have to trust me when I say that I’ve tried some pretty great places in Baltimore this year.
20. Find a volunteer opportunity
    • I used to volunteer a lot in high school and college and even after graduation. I’ve been missing this part of my life and so I wanted to try and bring it back. In May 2024, I volunteered for Baltimore’s annual Flower Mart, and it was a great experience! It did rain that weekend, unfortunately, but it was a great time to volunteer, meet more people, and feel connected to the city I live in.
21. Face a fear
    • There are probably many fears I faced this last year, but I checked this item off when I published this blog and posted videos and posts of my poetry. I also checked it off again when I spoke at my first open mic. It’s a scary thing putting yourself out there, but it more than pays off in the end. Growing into my most authentic self has been a beautiful journey.
22. Fine tune my style (switch out my wardrobe)
    • You may be thinking “you haven’t figured this one out by now?” And in a sense, no I haven’t. I’ve never really been ‘in style.’ For context, in middle school I basically wore jeans, a sweatshirt, and sneakers every day; I cared more about comfort than I did about how I looked. This isn’t a bad thing, and my style has changed a lot since I was 12, but figuring out what my own personal style is and what I feel the most confident in was something I was still trying to figure out for a while. I’m happy to say that the clothes I currently have make me feel like my most confident and beautiful self and I’m really proud of that.

Not Quite Completed…Yet:

1. Solo photo shoot
   • I had aspirations for this one because I thought it would fun and a cool memory to have to mark turning 30. We celebrate so many other things (engagements, weddings, babies, retirement, etc.) and yet while I haven’t yet, or may never, hit any of those milestones, I wanted to celebrate something just for me in this season of life. I didn’t quite have the funds for this one just yet, but I’m hoping within my 30th year I will be able to complete this.
2. Invest
   • I know this needs to happen, but for the time being, I’m letting my current retirement and high yield savings account be enough for my investments right now.
3. Find a church home
   • This is hard. Take my word for it, whether you are a christian or not. Finding a place that preaches the gospel, that isn’t too corny, that welcomes believers and non-believers alike, and that I feel at home and comfortable in, is much harder than it should be. The search continues, but I am determined to find at least one church in this city I can call home.
4. Bake something that is completely original
   • I actually don’t think I baked as much as I normally do this year. I ended up pursuing other hobbies and interests a little bit more. And even when I did bake, it was more so to try and perfect my chocolate chip cookie recipe. So not quite making highly original recipes just yet, but we are getting there.
5. Be able to do a split/full straddle
   • Look, this is hard and takes much longer than I’d like. One day I’ll be flexible.
6. Go to a self-defense or boxing class
   • I’m actually a little disappointed I didn’t make this one happen. My introverted self and my bank account got the best of me with this one. I did do some at home kick-boxing workouts that I’ve loved, but when I wrote this goal, I intended it to be to go out to a class and learn these skills while meeting new people. So, didn’t complete it, but still something I’d like to do.
7. Go to a comedy show
   • Ok, so this one didn’t happen either. I’m not fully surprised. I still have a desire to go see a comedy show, but my introverted self is still a little intimidated by it. I’ll have to grab a friend to go with me. If I can get out of my apartment more often.