Dear 20-year-old Katie,

It’d make more sense if I were writing this letter to you as I was turning 30. However, like we both probably know, I’m already reflecting and thinking about my time in my 20s even though I only turned 29 a few months ago. So, here we are. I’m not really sure where to start or what all to include in this letter to you. To sum it up I guess I will say that the next 9 years of your life will be some of the most challenging, yet rewarding years of your life.

Right now, you are reeling from your time studying abroad and preparing to adjust back to your ‘normal’ life at college. If I could offer any advice for this very specific time in your life it would be to remember to take care of yourself and to take time to process everything that happened over the last few months. I know you think you already did, but trust me there is more there than you think. You will be faced with many decisions in the upcoming years. Trust yourself and what you know to be true. You know yourself a whole lot better than you think you do. Continue making decisions based on what you want rather than what you think you should want. God will provide for you no matter what you choose.

One thing that didn’t change much is our want to be in a relationship. However, with some time, age, and wisdom, I now view this much differently. This is still and probably will forever be a struggle of ours. But I see it with clearer eyes now. I appreciate our time of singleness so much more now. There are many times over the next few years of your life where you will wonder, question, and so badly want another person in your life to help you through whatever it is you are going through. A person you can call home and name as your ‘person’. It will hurt and you won’t understand why it won’t just happen for you. But I’m here to tell you that there is something really beautiful about going through your 20s single. There is nothing wrong either way; being in a relationship or being single in your 20s. But our gift was being single. I still don’t understand it all sometimes. But looking back I know that this is exactly how it was supposed to be and we are better because of it. It’s like God knows what He’s doing or something. Despite the hard, I encourage you to try and appreciate this time as much as you can. Make mistakes. Take risks. Go on adventures. Meet people. Because no matter when you meet your person, try to appreciate all the other people in your life that will be there for you through all of the good and bad times. Those are the people who matter the most and who you will look to in the times you most need someone. Some of the greatest lessons of love you learn may not come from romantic relationships. Don’t go through this life alone.

I used to get upset when people would tell me to enjoy my season of singleness because before I know it it will be gone. I stand by my sentiment that even the best pieces of advice when your single won’t feel very helpful if you aren’t willing and able to hear it at the right time and when you can accept it. And sometimes, some pieces of advice just aren’t good. However, while I wasn’t ready to accept this piece of advice at the time, I do have moments where I can hear it a little better. Because truly you will never get this time back. You can’t always just pick up and take a trip anywhere you want without the thought of another person. You may not get to appreciate your family and friendships as much as you can right now.

Don’t rush your 20s. Be responsible but don’t try to be something before you need to be. Just try to live and have fun. That’s what I hope for you. Take this time to discover yourself, your passions, what you want out of life. And I promise you that so far, your 20s will be some of the best years of your life. You will encounter many changes, grief, joy, and lots of growth, but you will also not be the same person at 29 that you are currently at 20. And I can tell you that that is a very good thing. Enjoy the ride and know that no matter what happens, you will make it to the other side.

I love you and I love everything you have and are about to go through. Even the hard stuff. When you don’t believe yourself, believe my words when I say I love you. I love you then, and I love you even more now. Enjoy every moment. Grieve when you need to. Ask for help. Learn to love everything and everyone around you. You’re doing great.

Sincerely and with love,

Almost 30-year-old Katie